‘Not Marriage Material’ – Submission 4: The Final Straw by Lora Abrador

Not Marriage Material is an upcoming anthology of non fiction and poetry – submissions are currently open. More information can be found here.

---

‘The Final Straw‘ by Lora Abrador

A friend suggested I connect with Werner. I happened to run into him at a party and we “made love”—if you can call it that. He wanted to see me again, and when I went to his house, he had bought flowers, saying he wanted me to be his girlfriend. It seemed odd to be offered girlfriend status on just the second date, but I went along with it. It turned out we both loved art and enjoyed being together. It was a simple relationship—I called it my “pleasure bond.” He called me “sweet stuff” and Amos “short stuff.” Whenever my flowers wilted, he brought fresh ones.

He was a strange creature, tall with long hair (which he dyed), and he sometimes wore earrings made from the rattle of a genuine rattlesnake. Because I was open sexually, Werner felt free to tell me about his “kinks.” He had drilled holes in a wall of his bathroom in order to spy on his two unsuspecting female roommates. He also purposely had no locks on the door and would barge in while a woman was using the bathroom, feigning embarrassment saying, “Oh I’m so sorry!”

When I confronted him, he said it did no harm and that, if the women knew he was observing them, they would like it. This creeped me out, but somehow I stayed with him. I now understand this is “unlawful surveillance” and I deeply regret that I did not break up with him and report it to the police. Another time, he told me that he exposed himself to women who walked down a path that went by his bedroom window. I told him this was horrible and illegal. He said he would never be arrested because he did it in his own home. Later, I found out that this behavior is criminal even in one’s own bedroom. [1.] Again, I’m ashamed that I did not report him to the police immediately.

Eventually, I did report all of his illegal activities, but the officer said there was nothing they could do at that point. But it is documented on his record and, since this is a psychological compulsion as well as criminal behavior, I’m certain it has and will happen again.

Then came the final straw. He had a new roommate who had an exquisite vintage clothing collection which he adored. While she was out of the house, he would go into her closet and masturbate. But the ultimate “bad little boy” fantasy would be getting caught in the act. One day, she came home and found him masturbating in her closet—she was beyond herself with rage–and when I heard about it, I broke up with him immediately.

---

1. Chapter 8 of California Penal Code: “Indecent Exposure, Obscene Exhibitions, and Bawdy and Other
   Disorderly Houses [314 – 318.6]. Every person who willfully and lewdly exposes his person, or the private parts
   thereof, in any public place, or in any place where there are present other persons to be offended or annoyed
   thereby”. [Italics are mine]

---

About the Author

At the age of 19, Lora Arbrador was given a recipe for making egg tempera paint by a college professor who admitted he had no knowledge of the technique. Like a musician with a strong affinity for a particular instrument, Arbrador found her creative home in egg tempera.

To financially support her art practice, Arbrador became a registered nurse. Nursing has been the inspiration for many of her paintings, including the series Ways of Dying: A Chronicle of the AIDS Epidemic. Her painting from that series, Don’t Go My Friend: The Death of John Walsh, MD,won first place at the Art and Healing exhibit at Artwest Gallery (Wyoming) in 1997.

Arbrador became fascinated by the history of egg tempera and, in 1995 was invited to speak at the Johnson Museum of Art at Cornell University. Her lecture there has evolved into two presentations: “What is Egg Tempera?” and “A Taste of Egg Tempera History.” In 1997, Arbrador co-founded the Society of Tempera Painters which was modeled after the 1901 Society of Painters in Tempera in England.

Arbrador has exhibited in galleries and museums throughout the US, including South Bend Regional Museum of Art (Indiana), Wenatchee Valley College Art Gallery (Washington), and the Bade Museum of the Pacific School of Religion (California).

Arbrador shares her love of egg tempera painting with young children, professional artists and other curious people.

Art & Love: My Life Illuminated in Egg Tempera is her second book. She worked on it for eight years and now intends to return to painting! Her first book is A History of Roman Calligraphy now housed in the Marjorie G. and Carl W. Stern Book Arts & Special Collections Center of the San Francisco Public Library.

When not painting, writing or practicing nursing, Arbrador discovers new plants for her shade garden and learns songs from the Great American Songbook. Her home studio is in San Francisco, California, USA.

Website: http://www.arbrador.com/

Newsletter: http://artblotterplus.substack.com/